Mainstream Media Shocked Sean Hannity Is Trump Ally

THE HAMPTONS—Several members of the mainstream media, in The Hamptons for their weekly meeting, yoga, and massage session, have reported to Newsquips that they are "shocked" about Sean Hannity being a Conservative and being...

Washington Post Under Fire For “Christ-y” Photo of Marathon Winner

WASHINGTON, DC—The venerable Washington Post newspaper is under fire from atheists and agnostics as well as several congressional Democrats for posting a giant "Christ-y" photo on their website. The photo depicts the Boston Marathon winner...

Comey Suggests Trump Has A Hickey

WASHINGTON, DC—In an interview with ABC's George Stephanopoulos, a former close aide to Bill Clinton, fired FBI Director James Comey suggested that upon close observation and "using my skills as an unbiased FBI sleuth,"...

Senator Pushes for Annual Tax-Filing Task To Grow To Three-Month-Long Chore

"Not hard enough yet," says leading Democrat on the panel. WASHINGTON, DC—Reports leaked from the Senate Tax-Filing Subcommittee and acquired by Newsquips indicate that the annual burden of personal tax-filing will expand to a three-month-long...

London To Ban Knives, Scissors, Sticks, Stones, Cars, Planes, Cricket Bats, And Overdone Bangers In New Crime Reduction Effort

LONDON, ENGLAND—If London's strict gun control hasn't worked to stop all the knife murders -- now numbering more than all the mostly gun-related murders in New York City -- then the City of London's...

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