Mainstream Media Shocked Sean Hannity Is Trump Ally

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THE HAMPTONS—Several members of the mainstream media, in The Hamptons for their weekly meeting, yoga, and massage session, have reported to Newsquips that they are "shocked" about Sean Hannity being a Conservative and being...

Washington Post Under Fire For “Christ-y” Photo of Marathon Winner

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WASHINGTON, DC—The venerable Washington Post newspaper is under fire from atheists and agnostics as well as several congressional Democrats for posting a giant "Christ-y" photo on their website. The photo depicts the Boston Marathon winner...

Comey Suggests Trump Has A Hickey

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WASHINGTON, DC—In an interview with ABC's George Stephanopoulos, a former close aide to Bill Clinton, fired FBI Director James Comey suggested that upon close observation and "using my skills as an unbiased FBI sleuth,"...

Senator Pushes for Annual Tax-Filing Task To Grow To Three-Month-Long Chore

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"Not hard enough yet," says leading Democrat on the panel. WASHINGTON, DC—Reports leaked from the Senate Tax-Filing Subcommittee and acquired by Newsquips indicate that the annual burden of personal tax-filing will expand to a three-month-long...

London To Ban Knives, Scissors, Sticks, Stones, Cars, Planes, Cricket Bats, And Overdone Bangers In New Crime Reduction Effort

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LONDON, ENGLAND—If London's strict gun control hasn't worked to stop all the knife murders -- now numbering more than all the mostly gun-related murders in New York City -- then the City of London's...

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